Do Nurses Really Eat Their Young? | The ER Edit Ep. 19

“Do nurses really eat their young?” is one of those nursing phrases that gets thrown around so much it almost starts to feel like hospital folklore. But in this episode of The ER Edit, Caitlin Armstrong and Karlie Tooley get into what that phrase actually looks like in real life, especially for new grad nurses, nurses on orientation, and anyone trying to learn in a high pressure ER environment. The point is not that every tough preceptor is a bully. The point is that there is a very real difference between a nurse who challenges you because they want you to grow and a nurse who humiliates you because they want control.

The episode opens up the conversation around nurse bullying, the “mean girl nurse” stereotype, and why so many new nurses walk into their first job already scared they are going to be judged, embarrassed, or left to figure things out alone. Caitlin and Karlie talk through the reality that new grads are not expected to know everything. They are expected to ask questions, build critical thinking, learn how to multitask, understand the department, and slowly become safe, confident nurses. That process does not work if the person teaching them makes them afraid to speak up.

One of the clearest examples comes through a Reddit story about a new grad whose preceptor did not show them where supplies were, did not explain the charting system, criticized them constantly, and allegedly failed to warn them when an aggressive patient was approaching from behind. That is not just someone being “harsh.” That is a nurse being set up to fail. The episode makes the point that nursing is a team sport, especially in the ER. If someone is withholding information, refusing to teach, gossiping, rolling their eyes, or creating an environment where a new nurse feels unsafe asking for help, that affects more than feelings. It affects the patient, the team, and the nurse’s ability to practice safely.

Caitlin and Karlie also talk about their own experiences with workplace tension and belittling. Caitlin shares about starting as a new ER nurse after already having nursing experience and still feeling that unspoken hierarchy that can happen during orientation. Karlie shares about responding to a cath lab code, helping with compressions and medication timing during ACLS, and being publicly questioned in a way that felt unnecessary and disrespectful. The story lands because it is not some huge dramatic blowup. It is the kind of moment healthcare workers remember for years because it happens in front of a room full of people, when everyone is supposed to be focused on helping the patient.

That becomes one of the strongest points of the episode: urgency is not the same thing as disrespect. In the ER, trauma room, cath lab, or any high stakes clinical setting, people may need to speak quickly. They may need to be direct. They may need to correct something immediately. But screaming at someone, cutting them down, or making them feel stupid while they are already nervous does not make learning more effective. It often makes people freeze, doubt themselves, and become less likely to ask the questions they need to ask.

The episode also brings in resident physicians and the way humiliation shows up across healthcare, not just in nursing. Karlie tells a story about watching a resident struggle with a first intubation while one physician took over abruptly instead of coaching her, then later seeing the same resident get a second chance with a different physician who taught with patience and calm direction. The difference in those two moments says a lot. People can learn in hard situations. They can do difficult things for the first time. They can even be corrected under pressure. But they need guidance, not public shame.

Burnout is another important layer in the conversation. Caitlin and Karlie talk about how some nurses, especially after Covid and years of hard ER work, may be exhausted, guarded, and not in the right place to precept. That does not make every burned out nurse a bully, but it does mean self awareness matters. If a nurse cannot teach well, support a new grad, or show up with enough patience to help someone learn, it may be time to step back from precepting. On the other side, they also encourage new nurses to advocate for themselves. If a preceptor relationship is not working, ask to switch. If orientation is ending and you do not feel ready, ask for more time. Protect your license, your learning, and your ability to become the nurse you are trying to become.

The episode closes by separating the hard shell many ER nurses develop from actual bullying. ER nurses see traumatic things, get treated badly, move fast, and often have to protect themselves emotionally just to get through the shift. That guarded exterior can be mistaken for being mean. But there is still a line. Being no bullshit is not the same as being cruel. Being direct is not the same as humiliating people. And if all someone wants to do at work is talk badly about other people, make new grads feel small, or create tension on the unit, Caitlin and Karlie are pretty clear: it is time for some self reflection.

This episode is direct, funny in the way only ER nurses can be, and honest about a part of nursing culture that a lot of people know exists but do not always know how to talk about. It is about nurse bullying, yes, but it is also about teaching better, asking questions, protecting patients, and remembering that every seasoned nurse was new once.